Catching up!

You know if I'd be more faithful about blogging, I wouldnt have to catch you up on a months worth of junk in one post. haha.
I've been laying in bed for the last 36 hours. The only time I have actually been up was when I took the beaten trail to the bathroom. I have thrown up so much, my ribs hurt. I am sore. I hate the stomach flu. Big Boy has had it since Sunday....on and off. I ended up with it and then last night at ball practice, Little Girl tossed some Ramen Noodles. The Hub has been walking around the house with the mega monster can of Lysol. He's used over half of it in under 12 hours. He does not want it. I do not blame him.
Ok, so on a happier note.....my Mom has been wanting a tattoo for years. So, the other day I mentioned that I wanted another one. Basically it boiled down to, "I will if you will...." Yeah, well, Mom and I both got cross tattoo's on our wrists day before yesterday. YAY!! Funny thing..I asked her if she told Sis and she said she hadnt. So I send Sis a pic of the bald headed tattoo guy leaning over mom inking her with the caption..."Momma got ink".....Sis sends back...WTF???!! Yeah, funny stuff!
Ok, so this is sad....I cant think of anything funny to tell you....its been an entire month and I got nothing. Blah.

I figure since I dont have much...I could go back to Slang Word O' The Day!!
And this word is very fitting since it IS a holiday weekend....DRUMROLL PLEASE:
btrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, DONG!

Rescue Chip

A rescue chip is the chip you use to fish the bits and pieces out of the first one you overloaded and busted in the dip......

And used in a sentence:

"My tortilla chip busted when I tried to load it with extra salsa so I had to get a rescue chip to recover the pieces."

Have a fabulous Memorial Weekend friends :)

Its my Burfday!

Yeah, I can hardly believe I am THIRTY TWO. WOW!! 8 more years and I will be the big 4-0. WOW! How time flies.
Ok, yeah. I am such a liar. I am 38. 2 more years and I am knock-knock-knocking on Heaven's door.........

My poor neighbor

Yeah, so, its taken me a few days to even be able to say this, much less write this. I'm pretty sure my neighbor next door saw me stark raving nekkid on Saturday. Yep, the poor fella....I'm sure his eyes are still burning 3 days later.
And so you say, "Dawned, what on earth were you doing for your neighbor to see you sans clothes".....and my reply is simply......I was home alone with Little Girl...she was sacked out on the couch...I took a shower, walked into the kitchen to get clothes out of the dryer....what did it hurt?? Its my house, I can walk around in the buff if I so choose. I normally just don't choose to. So any way, I turn around from the dryer to see NEIGHBOR and NEIGHBORS GRANDKIDS playing in their backyard in the rain. WHO THE H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS plays outside in the rain?!! Straight shot into my kitchen.......there is no way neighbor COULDNT have seen me. Yeah, the doof Im married to had left the BLINDS WIDE OPEN. So, its kinda his fault. Yeah, definately kinda his fault.

TGIF

I woke up 15 minutes early this morning, (YAY ME!) to the sound of thunder off in the distance...there was a cool breeze and my blankets were nice and cozy. Perfect sleeping weather.
D*#! job always gets in the way of my sleep.
But on a happier note...THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY!!!! :) :) :)

OHHHHHH I forgot to tell you

Remember the April Fools Day incident with Little Girls friend?? Saying "Dawned" is preggo?!
WELLLLL...apparently cute little 7 yr old friend of Little Girl went to school and TOLD everyone we know at school her little 'joke'...... LOL I show up for the Easter Party last week and they were ALL STILL LAUGHING about it.
I still dont get it...why she gotta pick on me?? I will get the little pretty, oh yes, I will.........

Facebook Whore

Hello, My name is "Dawned" and I am a FB Whore. I can't help it. I have had my FB since before it was cool and for some reason, I am totally addicted. Maybe its because this year is my 20th HS Reunion and I have gotten back in touch with a buttload of my classmates through FB, IDK. But I know that if i check it once, I check it a hundred times a day. I hate that stupid application for my bberry. Makes it too easy.
Please be in prayer for me that I overcome my addiction. If I knew the 12 steps, I'd try em, I don't, so I'm gonna just 'wing it'....
ha ha ha ha ha

PLEASE PRAY!!

me+fire=PANIC. i dont like fire. so i guess its a really bad thing that our entire state is BURNING UP. my uncle is an emergency manager in a county a few away from ours...when asked on the 6 o'clock news if there was ANYTHING they could do for him...for his county...for his firefighters....his answer was one very simple, but POWERFUL word. PRAY.
with that being said....please lift our Oklahoma firefighters, Emergency Managers, other leaders as well as the people who being affected....our friends, our neighbors and our families. everyone will know someone who has been affected.
PLEASE PRAY!!!

YAY!

I'm fixing to go get my hair 'did'....I.CANT.WAIT. It looks like poo. I realized how bad the color looked yesterday when one of the service techs came by my office and he said, wow, 'dawned', i didnt know you had gray in your hair. Don't think I didnt get up and haul some serious butt to the huge mirror in the loo with tweezers in hand...NO GRAY FOR ME, NO THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Just because I will be celebrating the 17th anniversary of my 21st birthday in two weeks doesnt mean jack.

He's driving me crazy!

The Hub is getting on my nerves. Seriously. I am sitting here minding my own biznass, checking out some blogs, getting my Facebook and Myspace updates and he wont.shut.up.
I repeat, HE WONT SHUT UP. He has yesterday's newspaper and is going through them. THE COUPONS to be exact. Looking at every single item asking me if I use it. Did i mention, EVERY SINGLE COUPON, he asks me if I use 'this or that'?! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sure, we should buy those fish sticks that are a buck off. WE DONT EAT THEM, but, hey, if Im gonna save a buck, might outta try em.......
He says he's just trying to save us some cashola. And while I think thats real sweet, IF WE DONT NORMALLY USE IT, WHY BUY IT JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN SAVE A QUARTER???!!!
I dont like the word "COUPON"...especially when you hear granny calling them a "CUE-PUN"..JEEZ, I'm from Oklahoma, its a "COOOOO-PON".
Ok, I think its time for me to take my pms'ing tail to the bathtub and on to bed. Maybe he can take his coupons, go to the store and buy those fishsticks for him and the kids for supper........

Well, THAT was a FIRST!

I'm pathetic. Seriously. I am. Its ok though, I have come to terms with it....it's all good.
This morning, Big Boy had to be at school at 7:45 a.m. And you say, 'why is that such a big deal?' Let me tell you why its a big deal. Big Boy has attended this same school since he was 4. He is now 13. You do the math. NINE LONG YEARS. Did I mention that I am not a morning person? At all. So, the bell rings for class to start at 8:20 a.m. Yeah, since Pre School, I have been the mom that comes flying into the parking lot, saying my I love you's and have a nice day's all while telling him not to forget bags, jackets, etc.....at approximately 8:19. It is what it is. I've tried to change that and it normally doesn't matter how early we get up and get around, we NEVER MAKE IT TO SCHOOL EARLY.
Fast forward to today. WE MADE IT TO SCHOOL EARLY!!!! YAY, ME!!! I had to walk in with Little Girl to give School Secretary her pink eye drops. I asked her to please write this moment down somewhere. I have NEVER made it to school this early. EVER!!! I WAS SOOOO EXCITED!!!!
Yeah, I know you are thinking how pathetic. Don't you dare judge me. ;)

BLAH

Its been a while, huh?! Well, i had nothing better to do today than STAY HOME WITH LITTLE GIRL, who not only has ONE PINK EYE, but TWO!!! Loverly. Thought I better make the most of my time at home, doing nuf-fing and take a little vacay through blog land!
I am almost Hannah Montana'd out today. If I have to hear one more episode, I MAY GO POSTAL!
I got a really funny phone call this morning at 730am from a friend of mine laughing at what her 7 yr old (who also happens to be Little Girls BFF)......so Friends LG says to Friend, "Mom, DH(ME!) is going to have a baby!!" To which Friend says, "No, I dont think so....
" and Friends LG is just insistant on ME HAVING A BABY. Dear Sweet 7lb baby Jesus in a Manger.....
Finally Friends Little Girl says APRIL FOOLS MOMMY!!! ISNT THAT FUNNY?!?!?!!!!
Why ME?! Why'd she have to pick on me??!! Its not like she doesnt have like 10 aunts she could have picked on. Nooooooooooooooooooo, she has to pick on ME. Hopefully the conversation that happened at their house STAYED at their house!! Oh and did I mention the call was AT 730 AM ON A DAY I DIDNT HAVE TO TAKE LITTLE GIRL TO SCHOOL?!! ;)

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack :)

Did you miss me??
Ok, SO, I got to thinking.....this year is my 20th high school reunion. I totally just realized that I have 6 months and counting to LOSE WEIGHT. Jeez. Going on a serious diet TOMORROW. Bought an AbLounge Ultra TODAY. So, wanna take bets?!! Will the AbLounge be used for its intended purpose or in a week or two will it turn into a laundry hamper?!! You know it always changes once the 'new' wears off.
So on to business as usual.......DRUM ROLL PLEASE.....brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Slang of the day word for today IS:

TEEPEEKABO.....

The act of looking for toilet paper....opening and closing cabinet drawers, closet doors, etc/

AND used in a sentence:

Thanks for not putting any more toilet paper on the roll when you used the last of it....I had to play teepeekabo until I finally found some under the bathroom sink.
Hopefully you wont be put in that 'situation'....but if you are, at least now you know, THERE IS A WORD for it!! :)

ouch

im a wuss. my wrist hurts. its a beotch typing with one hand. on a happier note, i love darvocet. la la land is a nice place to visit :)
will get back to work on the SLANG in a day or two. i KNOW u r missing it... ;)
Peace~

Anesthesia Paranoia

Well, I am definately having surgery on the ole wrist on Wednesday. Yes, Something, I said Wednesday. Yeah, I bout crapped too...... they 'never' move that quick on anything, so I wasn't really expecting to get in before, oh, say, i dont know....SUMMER TIME?!!!
To say the least, I.HATE.ANESTHESIA. (Ha! Im thinking Im not as good of a speller as Lil Chic!!) Any way, back to the feel good meds. I don't like to go to sleep. I have the hardest time waking up. When I had an emergency c-section with Lil Chic, it was like 8 in the a.m.....I dont think I woke up until sometime that afternoon. Don't like it....just sayin'.......
And another thing that makes me paranoid..........I'm a 'fluffy' girl. Definately got some meat on these bones. HOW DO I KNOW when I'm TOTALLY OUT if they are making fun of the love handles?!! You KNOW they do. Or poking on the fat just to watch it jiggle!!
But you also know they see some freaky shiz in the O.R. I don't have any freaky piercings or tattoos, just the fat. Maybe they will show mercy on my totally knocked out soul. : (
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh! and dont you despair, I PROMISE to make sure you get your SOTD!!! Would NEVER let ya down like that!! :)

TODAYS WORD IS................................................Prostitot

Defined as an obviously underage girl who dresses like a ho.

Im thinking you have probly SEEN someone who fits this description and can come up with your own "used in a sentence!"
My son is 13.....I see PROSTITOTS everytime I go to his school.........

Lil Chic can spell!

Yeah, JOY! Little Chic can spell and man, she is goooood. I really thought I still had a bit of 'time' left...you know the time Im talking about....where you can talk to someone and spell out half of it as to not 'clue' the kid in on what you are talking about.
Well, those days are over fo' sho fo' me!
Earlier, the Hub was whining about his stomach hurting. Well, being how I had worked my first job from 6:30-8:30 (Mommy to 2 kids), then my 2nd job from 8:30-5:00 and my THIRD job at a local store from 5:00-9:00, then back to job 1 until just a bit ago...I was running low on sympathy. SO, I spelled out the P word. Yeah, I shouldnt have, but I DID. Its done, cant take it back. It is what it is.
Lil Chic looks at me and says, "whats a p****?" But she doesnt pronounce it like its pronounced....she says it like that deodorant Tussy. Or HUSSY. ha ha
I immediately began to back peddle and try to convince her that is NOT what I spelled. Yeah, she's pretty smart for a 7 yr old.....i'm thinkin she's on to me..........

Am i nuts or just getting OLD?!

I lost my keys. Again. I SWEAR this morning when Lil Chic, Big Boy and myself went to get in the car, Big Boy got my keys and went back and locked the front door. He says he didnt. I KNOW I didnt shut it fo sho..... So, you know what that means?? Im thinking my front door may be standing wide open.
Good thing I have a Killer Mini Schnauzer in the house. Bad thing is that she stays 'crated' during the day. D%&*!
Looks like I'm fixing to have to make the 10 mile journey back home....for my own peace of mind....BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Stupid Wrist & Farmer Snorts

My wrist hurts. Yeah, maybe because i have a cyst on it, BLAH!! I finally realized how bad it was this a.m., when I went to put the Lil Chic's hair up in a ponytail and found that my left hand was actually not doing what it was suppose to do. Put in a call to the ortho surgeon....so I guess we will go from there.
On to bigger and better things though....the moment I KNOW you have been waiting for:
SOTD!!!
Todays word is....can i get a drum roll please.....brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, DING! Farmer Snort
The act of plugging a nostril with one finger while blowing out the other one in order to discharge nasal goop on the ground. EW. Kinda makes me puke in my mouth!!
Used in a sentence: "I thought he was rude and crude when he farted in front of me, but realized how nasty he really was when he sneezed and farmer snorted."
Again, I think this is usually a 'move' performed by men.....go figure!!

Oops...missed a few days!!

Missed a few days, but I still dont have anything 'blog worthy'.......I'm so boring, its not even funny.....HOWEVER, I will share the chosen Slang o' the day!! :

SOTD: MANSCAPE. ha ha ha ha ha....get a mental......

Defined: To keep the body hair trimmed

AND used in a sentence:

"When he pulled his shirt off, it looked like he had on a sweater.....he needed some serious 'manscaping'......"

Day two......

Day 2 of of my new blog! Still not much to say, but wanted to get the SOTD out there, just so you can start using it.... ;)

Textually Frustrated: When text messaging someone and it takes them too long to reply....

AND USED IN A SENTENCE:

"He took forever to text me back; he's totally leaving me textually frustrated"

Slang o' the day

Ive decided on days that I have nothing to say, I will share 'Slang o' the day'....should be fun for us all...... Even on days I DO have a little sum somethin to say, I will still share good slang. You never know when you might be in the situation that you need to use it. Read it. Learn it. Practice it. Use it. LOVE IT!

Todays SOTD......... COIN WANKING. Defined as the act of carressing or fondling change held in the pocket of a pair of pants. Usually performed by men. (go figure)
AND
Used in a sentence: "I was talking to my boss in the hall today, but couldn't hear a word he said over the 'COIN WANKING'.

Hope this term will be most useful.....have a FABULOUS WEDNESDAY!!!!